The hallucinations
by Ninja School Dropout
Summary: Sparks is asked by Wheeljack to test out his new creation. What kind of side effects could this experiment possibly have? Request from RapidFeather
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: My account hasn't been letting me log in. I'm so sad. But on the bright side I got alot of stuff typed up.  
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**This was a request from Rapidfeather. I hope you like it. At first I had no idea what I was going to do with it. Then I watched the tac nayn vs Nyan Cat video and went, "Yeshhhhhhh."**

**Request: Sparks hallucinating about mission city battle with Optimus as Nyan Cat and megatron as the evil waffle nyan cat thingy.**

* * *

><p>"Well, at least it's not as bad as Mission City." Jazz sighed staring at his mangled digit. Him and Sparks were just returning from a mission fighting off a group of decepticons.<p>

"What happened in mission city?" Sparks asked.

"Nothin much, just got ripped in half." Jazz shrugged as if it wasn't a big deal.

"You got_ ripped_ in _half?_" Sparks began to panic.

"Chill. Ah'm alive aren't ah?"

"I'm talking to Ratchet about this!"

* * *

><p>"Yes, he has been ripped in half." Ratchet said nonchalantly working on wheeljack's hand.<p>

"Hi Sparks."

"Hi Wheeljack." Sparks acknowledged him. "And why is nobody worried about this?"

"I I am not mistaken it was during Mission City. Barely missed his spark chamber, and put him in stasis lock. At first I thought he was permanently offline, but the slagger was tougher than I thought. Then to top it all off our all mighty leader was going to get himself slagged."

"oh… okay then." Sparks started to slowly back away.

"Hey sparks, before you leave. Will you help me test my new creation later?" Wheeljack asked hopefully.

"Will it explode?" Sparks asked.

"Nope!" Wheeljack announced happily.

"Ok. Just call me when you need me!"

* * *

><p>"What the frag is this?" Sparks asked staring at the glowing green liquid in the small beaker she was holding.<p>

"I wanted to make a cybertronian safe version of the beverage that most of the soldiers here run off of. The original substance is called coffee. I call this baby caffegon." Wheeljack explained.

"Your baby is boiling inside the beaker." Panic laced Sparks' voice.

"DON'T DRINK THAT ONE!" Wheeljack yelled smacking the beaker out of her hand with his digit. Then sighed when the substance corroded the ground instead of Sparks' hand. "That was the prototype. Very acidic, occasionally explosive." He reached onto the giant work table and filled another tiny beaker with a dull green substance. "There you go."

"Are you sure this one isn't going to corrode my energon lines? Or possibly make me explode?"

"I'm positive! I mean look at the color difference!" Wheeljack assured.

"Ok then." Sparks drank the dull green liquid, and then made a horrible face. "EWWW!" She yelled.

Wheeljack flinched. "That bad?"

"Only a lot. Is that all you wanted?"

"Yeah, tell me if you feel any side effects!" Wheeljack waved as Sparks slowly left.

"Why am I always his guinea pig?"

* * *

><p>"What in Primus' name is she doing?" Prowl asked when he got a call from Red Alert insisting he go check the Rec Room.<p>

"No idea." Sunstreaker answered. "But I'm recording it."

There on the Rec room's cybertronian sofa was Sparks yelling "Go Optimus poptart cat! Yeah! Get him!"

* * *

><p>Sparks was standing on top of a building surrounded by other fallen buildings. To her left the sky was black dotted with skulls. There was a black cat with red eyes and a waffle for a body flying forward, a black and white rainbow trailing after him.<p>

To Sparks' right was a navy blue sky with stars everywhere. A gray cat with a poptart body flew toward the black waffle cat with a beautiful rainbow trailing after him.

Right in front of her was a red area where the skulls and stars collided in the air and exploded leaving debris falling from the sky.

"I will not allow you to have this beautiful planet, Megatron Tac Nayn!" The poptart cat yelled.

"Then I shall take it by force, Optimus Nyan Cat!" The waffle cat yelled.

The Optimus poptart cat blasted forward shooting stars only for them to collide with more skulls.

"Go Optimus poptart Cat! Yeah! Get him!" Sparks yelled.

The Optimus poptart cat, and Megatron waffle cat collided. The Optimus poptart cat was blasted back by the evil power that was the waffle cat. "Face it, tart, you can't beat me!" Waffle cat taunted.

"Nyoooo!" Sparks took a leap off the building and started to eat the waffle cat.

"What the frag? Get her off!"

* * *

><p>"What the frag? Get her off!" Sunstreaker yelled when Sparks took a flying leap off the giant sofa, and began gnawing at the fins on each side of his helm.<p>

"I got her!" Prowl yelled clicking something on the back of Sparks neck, offlining her. "I shall take her to Ratchet."

* * *

><p>"Hallucinating! It causes Fragging hallucinations, Wheeljack!" Sparks yelled at the inventor.<p>

"So I shouldn't have given any to Prime?" Wheeljack shrank back.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: I got review on the previous part wanting a continuation, so here she is. At the moment I have not planned anything out on this part so I'm not 100% sure how this is going to be.**

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><p>"Wheeljack, how may I help you?" Optimus asked the inventor who asked him earlier to help test an invention.<p>

"Prime! Good you're here!" Wheeljack greeted his leader. "Let me find the stuff, and we can get started."

"Is it going to explode?"

"Why does everybody ask me that!"Wheeljack questioned as he grabbed an energon cube full of a dull green liquid. "This, after it gets out of the testing phase, will be the equivalent of human coffee." Wheeljack explained.

"I see." Optimus said putting the cube up to his lips.

"But a quick warning the stuff does-" Wheeljack was cut off by Optimus making the sound of a dry heave. "-taste disgusting." Wheeljack finished.

Optimus started coughing. "Is that all you *cough* needed?"

"Yeah, just make sure you come, and talk to me if you have any side effects from drinking it." Wheeljack instructed.

"Of course."

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><p>"Hallucinations! It causes fragging Hallucinations, Wheeljack!" Sparks yelled at the inventor.<p>

"So, I shouldn't have given any to Prime?" Wheeljack shrank back.

"YOU WHAT!"

p)(

Optimus was sitting in his office working on one of the reports Prowl had required for him to do after any mission. He had been putting it off for a while now, but the missing report had failed to escape Prowl's attention.

"Oh, I think you misspelled that word." A voice came from over his shoulder.

"Oh, I did. Thank you." Prime corrected the word.

"No problem." The voice replied.

Wait. Prime was alone in his office. Who could have possible talking? Prime looked over his shoulder, but nobody was there. "It must have been my processor messing up from lack of recharge. I will recharge after I finish this report for Prowl." Optimus reasoned with himself.

"Perhaps it would be best to recharge first. It's just a little nap. What's the harm?" The voice came from behind him now.

Prime immediately stiffened. He knew he was alone, and that was the third time he heard the voice. There was no way it was just lack of recharge. "Who is there."

"I have been here for awhile. You always come into this giant office, and destroy my home." The voice replied.

Optimus looked around the office. Nobody was there, no humans, or Autobots. "I am very sorry for destroying you home, but if you do not show yourself I will be forced to call some backup, and if I do that there will be no telling the amount of damage that may happen to your home."

"Oh, there is no need for that, tough bot. My name is Randall. I am the spider that lives in the web under your desk." A tiny brown spider with a yellow hourglass shape on his abdomen lowered itself from the ceiling by thin string of silk web.

Optimus quickly looked the spider up on the world wide web. "You are a Black Widow?" He asked.

"Of course, though at the moment I am in hiding from my wife." Randall explained.

Optimus raised an optic ridge. What could possibly be so bad about a femme Black widow. "Did you upset her?"

"Of course not! I fought for her love! It's just I have done my deed ,unfortunately my hypnosis has worn off, and she is very upset, by your terms I believe what I have done is sparked her up."

"You mated, and she is upset. Perhaps talking with her would be a better idea than running." Optimus advised the spider.

"You do not know my mate. She will EAT me."

"I believe you are overreacting." Optimus replied. He remembers all of the times that Major Lennox said his wife was going to eat him. Never once had the major returned with any sort of bite mark.

"Fine, if you don't believe me, reach under your table, and call for my mate, see what the first thing she does when she sees me is!"

* * *

><p>Prowl and Red Alert were standing outside their Prime's office. "Who on earth could he possibly be talking too?" Prowl asked. He had already dealt with enough insanity for one day. First Sparks and now Prime?<p>

"Do you think it's contagious?" Red asked.

"Do I think what is contagious?" Prowl was confused.

"Their insanity! Both Prime and Sparks have somehow caught a horrible disease! One of the symptoms are obviously slowly going insane! I need a safe room. I bet this is Wheeljack's doing. I bet he made this bioweapon to use against us so he can defect to the Decepticons!"

Prowl sighed. "I highly doubt that."

* * *

><p>Optimus was holding a black spider four times the size of the brown one. She had a red hourglass shape on her abdomen. "Where is that damn Spider!" The femme yelled.<p>

Optimus pointed where Randall was. "YOU BASTARD!" The femme yelled attacking the brown spider sinking her fangs into his abdomen.

"STOP YOU CRAZY BITCH!" Randall yelled. "HELP! I TOLD YOU SHE WAS GOING TO EAT ME!"

::Optimus to Ratchet!::

::What is it Prime::

::I need medical attention::

::I'll be right there! Ratchet out!::

* * *

><p>"Stick with me, Randall." Prime held the tiny spider in his hand.<p>

Ratchet rushed into the office watching Prime looking at something in his hand. "Prime, is there something wrong with your hand?"

"No, Ratchet, I need you to help Randall. His mate attacked him and tried to eat him." Optimus held out his hand.

"Optimus, there is nothing in your hand." Ratchet said looking into his Prime's hand.

"Look closely, Ratchet! He is a black widow spider! His name is Randall!"

Ratchet sighed before going behind Optimus and clicking the button on the back of his neck to offline him. "Fragging Wheeljack."

* * *

><p>Wheeljack stood awkwardly infront of his two test subjects, each one glaring at him. If he looked up he would meet Optimus Prime's glare, but if he looked down at his pedes, he would meet the glare of his original test subject, Sparks.<p>

"Wheeljack, I am ordering you to stop all proceeding with the experiment coffegon." Optimus ordered.

"Can I kick him?" Sparks asked.

Prime sighed. "No, you may not." He answered before walking off.

When Optimus was far enough away Sparks reeled back her leg, and kicked wheeljack in the pede, leaving a tiny dent. "Next time you need help with an experiment," Sparks started, "Call me. This was really fun!"


End file.
